How it feels to be loved

Ya dumau net bol'shego schastya chem znat' chto ti lubim.

Lubim besconechno, beskoristno, nezavisimo ni ot kakih obstoyatel'stv, slov, postupkov, a vot prosto tak...

prosto potomu chto ti vot takoi zamechatel'nii, edinstvennii i unikal'nii chelovek!!!

Mi vse hotim bit' lubimi, no ni odin chelovek ne sposoben tak lubit'. Chelovecheskaya lubov' osnovana na...(chuvstvah, emociyah, sekse, postupkah)

Tol'ko Bogya lubov' ne osnovana ni na chem...BOG lubit tebya prosto potomu chto TI ego sozdanie, on lubit tebya bezgranichno i beskonechno! Tol'ko on moget posmotret' na tvoi oshibki i vse ravno lubit' takge kak ran'she...on kak lubyachii otec (kotorogo u tebya moget bit' i nikogda ne bilo) vsegda prostit, vsegda obnimet i vsegda zachitit...ti ego dochka (sin), a on tvoi papa.

Nauchis' prinimat' ego lubov', ee TAAAK mnogo nakopilos' dlya tebya...otkroi svoe serdce i zapusti tuda lubov' kotoraya utret vse tvoi slezi, zaliget vse rani i napolnit tebya radost'u!!!

"Gospod', pomogi mne, ti nugen mne.

Ya hochu ochutit' vsu polnotu, vsu shirotu tvoei lubvi,

dai mne sil, ya hochu znat' chto ti menya lubish, pokagi mne eto!

Ya lublu tebya, otec.

Vo Imya sina tvoego Iisusa Hrista,

AMIN'"

@музыка: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GT1LWYVnBVw&feature=autoplay&list=FL3rbbkIeGGKlXOfsRQ3yj8w&lf=mh_lolz&playnext=5

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My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.

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A mne vse kagetsya chto on stanet luchshe

Kagdii den' tol'ko za eto i molus'

cherez rovno dva dnya otpuskaet

Budto i ne menya unigaut vovse

nachinau scuchat'

peregivat'

Teper' ti ne napishesh gadosti, ne ottkomentiruesh nashi fotki,

I might be lucky enough to get your evil facebook messages

kak budto podsela na krai britvi...

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segodnya hochetsya grustit'...kakoi-to den' takoi...vse ozabochenni svoimi problemami nesutsya v pustotu porokov, hotya mne li govorit'' o porokah,

mne li dumat' o neporochnosti i chestnosti

serdce raduetsya kagdii den' kakoi-to zagadochnoi slaboi ulibkoi

a ya ustalaya seichas proshu pochadi

stidno i grustno

domoi v uile

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па-ра-рам-па-ра-рам

nu i schast'e u nih

krasivoe

a ya

otvratitel'no smotru na otkrituu butilku Riesling

v moi edinstvennii vihodnoi planiruu nevozmognoe

davlu strastnie stuki serdca

i uge ne pitaus' razbudit' sebya

A eche na sled nedele ya poedu v Orlando...TAK mechtala chto ochuchau "uge na her ne nado"

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On nagal "sleduuchaya", kogda ya, ustavivshis' v lobovoe steklo opredelyala traektoriu nashih otnoshenii.

Tyageloe bremya nashih chuvst i ne sobiralos' rastvoryatsya v vozduhe.

Ya razvernlas' v storonu ego gub, prekrasno osoznavaya chto nes ne otpustit pozge.

Vospominaniya persikovie, tabachnie i kon'yachnie...

Vse bilo kak ya zadumala i bol'she ne bilo. Rovno po potrebnostyam, vs ostalis' dovol'ni, za isklucheniem odnoi nenugnoi martinovskoi dushenki...

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almost killed...

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slomalas'

chuvstvuu eto vsem svoim telom

eto tak bol'no...eto TAK

ya nikogda ne znala kak eto bivaet kogda tebya rastoptali

net sil

on narushil vse moe krovoobrachenie, izmenil strukturu mozga, obvinil menya v prestuplenii i zastavil poverit' v ego chetnost'.

ya nikto i mne gal' pogalui vse eto...

gal'

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- Молчи! Твой день - 8-е марта!
- Заткнись, Олень! День Мудака вообще не существует!

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ZNAESH chto ya dumau o tebe, &%^%%$#?

...Never mind

Na moem desktope sohranennii word gde bol'shimi i malen'kimi bukvami obaznachenna vsya moya "lubov'" k tebe...

i dai Bog u menya budet vozmognost'

scopirovat' i prosto vstavit'...po samie glandi tebe!

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planirovala viiti iz sostoyaniya depressii...

Da net, ya ug pogalui tut ostanus'!

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Drag me from hell

Ti mne tak nugen

detka

Obnimi, zakroi moi glaza i scagi: "Eto vse son, baby, poka ti ne prosneshsya ya budu ryadom!!!"

Poka ya dergus'

Kagdii vecher napominau chto sil'naya i kagdoe utro ne veru chto giva...

Ya teper' mogu razrevetsya za paru secund, eto okazivaetsya tak legko

Kagetsya budto ya i ne suchestvuu vovse...

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Tyagelo mislit' primitivno

Kogda amerikanec zadaet tebe vopros "Skol'ko budet 2x2?" on ogidaet uslishat' "4"

Kogda russkii zadaet etot ge vopros on ogidaet uslishat' sovsem drugoi otvet.

Poetomu mne, kak russkoi, tygelo priviknut' k misle chto americanec ne pitaetsya menya naebat'

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Tochnooooooooo....ya tak dolgo iskala eto giznenno neobhodimoe slovo,

eto slovo iz dvuh zvukov, KAK ono zvuchit...bal'zam na moe serdce...

MU-DAK!!!

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Potratila 2 chasa na prosmotr kritinskogo fil'ma no zato ponyala odnu vech

"You're gonna catch a cold. From the ice inside your soul"

Inject me, I'm ready...

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Raduet menya vse

Виктория: ya ne znau...ya prishla k
misle, chtobi trahat' menya ti dolgen chto-to predlogit'

libo sebya kak ohuennogo trahuna, libo chto-to drugoe

смугляночка: za kajdiy trax surpriz

Виктория: a on niche ne predlagaet i

hochet trahat'))))))))))))))))))))))))

смугляночка: nu suwnost mujika.realnoo blya obidnoo',xorowo usroilsya

ebi mozg,obzivay, ni huya ne delay,ne rabotAY,NI SCASTYA JENSKOGO
TAK EWE I SEX.KRUTOY CUVAK.ON NE PROPADET V JIZNI))

Виктория: ya scazala emu_)))

смугляночка: а он че)))

Виктория: on slushat' ne

hotel...potom obidelsya...potom scazal chto ya
shluha))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

смугляночка: ая

случайно не шлюха)))))))

Виктория: a mi sluchaino ne

shluhi?))))

смугляночка:ааахахах)))случайно да)))

Виктория: net, a ya dolgna

prikidivatsya schastlivoi genchinoi s nim????

ug luchshe scastlivoi

shluhoi chem neschastnoi genoi

смугляночка:

)))))))))))))))))))))я умерла

Виктория: on blya dumal chto mne sex

takge nravitsya kak emu. durachkom tut

prikidivalsya. eche i rasstroilsya kada

ya scazala chto sex mne voobche ne nravitsya

смугляночка: pizdec.sam sya tewil

Виктория: pridhlos' uspokaivat' chto

delo vse vo mne, chto eto ya frigidna, a on super trahal'nik

смугляночка: )))))))))))))piseniw

ploxoy___))))ne vozprinimaet clen

bolwe0)tak i skaji

Виктория: ti chto eto ge budet

isterika esli ya takoe scagu. ya prosto scazala chto ya

neopitna i voobche on pervii i voobche ya iz kategorii teh kotorie ne
konchaut)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))0

смугляночка: nu lan ne day emu sya

oluxom pocuvstvovat)))pizdec )))))))))))

Виктория: o da mas')) u menya

vihoda net))))) ahahahhaha))))toka vhodi)))

смугляночка: glavnoe on a

nti))))))))))))))wto podelat prixoditsya takimi metodamu)))

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he wrote finally

ye, right, exactly when I thought i didn't need him anymore...

electricity came across my venes and like a seasonal flu contaminated my body...

Did he write "oh baby i miss you" did he add "i need to see you i need to talk to you, i need you, i need you so bad..."

no...

he just said that communicating with me angers my hubby...and i just reminded him of how caring he is...

Then he went offline while i was still making up some educational sentences...

so i never told him that life is easy, that i miss him, i need to talk to him bla-bla-bla...

Life is easy, SO easy...

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a za eti polgoda on pervii raz izvinilsya...chas zaplachu...

pervii raz on po-nastoyachemu izvinilsya.......

ya ele sdergala slezi, ubegala v komnatu...

PERVII raz za 6 mesyatsev poboev, krikov, obid, merzkih slov i slez

pervii raz...

eto zastavlyaet menya zadumatsya chto moget bit' ne vse tak ploho

chto moget bit on kogda-nibud', kogda-nibud' poimet...poimet chto on natvoril...

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Poka ti vse poimesh ya obzavedus' vnukami i pravnukami...

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Ugh, Tez keeps telling me he just turned 30
having dreams of being single forever

he’s getting worried
and I’m scared too

because I’m in the same boat
good women are rare too, none of them have came close me

I haven't changed much,

you know how I play
better safe than sorry
instead of searching for substance at every single party
baby being part of this life
I feel like I’m bound to end up with somebody
that’s been with everybody
I need you to rescue me from my destiny
I’m trying to live right

and give you whatever’s left of me
cause you know life is what we make it and a
chance is like a picture, it’d be nice

if you just take it.
Or let me take it for ya
I’m just down to ride
or we can roll around the city until we finally decide
I got more than a thing for you, tattoo and ink for you
right over my heart girl I do

T-H-E U-N-T-H-I-N-K-A-B-L-E...